1000th Annual Tice-Medellin Thanksgiving Morning MTB Ride

Date: 
Friday, November 27, 2020 - 11:00am

Here it is folks!! The event you've all been waiting for. The 1000th Annual
Tice-Medellin Thanksgiving Morning MTB Ride.  Yes I said 1000th, the longest
running MTB ride in the world!!

It's recently been revealed that before printing his famous bibles Gutenberg
printed the rider logs from past South Mountain Thanksgiving rides.

  From medieval kings to renaissance scientists to famous explorers the logs
revealed the amazing list of past participants.

Popular thought has Isaac Newton discovering gravity after an apple fell on
his head, NOT SO! The revelations for describing gravity came to Newton when
he flew over the handlebars while descending the SuperMan trail during a
South Mountain Thanksgiving ride.

Richard the Lion Hearted going to the Holy Land during the Crusades. A
popular misconception. Richard was trying to get to South Mountain.

Marco Polo opeing trade routes with China - ha! He was trying to find the
quickest route to South Mountain. He was running late and thought going east
rather than west might be faster.

And of course we'll have our famous pre-ride activities.

* Watch Rich Chug - always a crowd favorite. Place bets on how long Rich can
chug beer without vomiting. The concrete dome protecting against the
corrosiveness of Rich's digestive tract has been upgraded to 3 ft thick with
an inner "magnetic bottle" that our physicists say can handle up to 1 million
degrees (editors note: After last years near Armageddon this activity has
been cancelled. Our insurance carrier is still trying to settle with all of
last years burn victims).

* Quiet Time With Bernie - see how long Bernie can remain quiet. In past
years modern science has utterly failed to measure how long (or short) Bernie
can remain quiet so this year we are changing things up. Now instead of
measuring quiet time with Bernie we'll be measuring how long Bernie can keep
talking without taking a single breath (editors note: after meeting Bernie
our technical team are scrambling to find a bigger battery to power our
contest clocks. They were heard mumbling "he has to stop eventually, doesn't
he?").

Back by popular demand the grand prize is a newly "used" tomato kindly
donated by Bernie. These tomatoes are extremely rare. Please be prepared to
handle with care. Dr. Fauci has warned that these tomatoes have enough
destructive viral particles to make the Bubonic Plague look like a runny
nose!

So don't miss out on this event. There's even talk that old man Tice will
make an appearance.

9:00 a.m. meeting at the South Mountain Park parking lot on top of South
Mountain across from the OLD Channel 39 offices. This is a social ride
suitable for all abilities.